Thursday, December 30, 2010

A Doable Resolution: Peace in the New Year

Remember: among the other intentions you set for the New Year, resolve to give yourself the gift of peace. And you may recall how it came to me one day that an acronym for PEACE was P-peace E-equals A-acceptance C-compassion E-empathy.

Please repeat the mantra of compassion to the younger you of two seconds ago or years ago regarding situations or actions for which you feel you need to forgive yourself. Visualize or look at a photo of the younger you and say.: "I know in my heart I would have done differently if I could have done differently but at that time I couldn't so I didn't." Remember that, as the former psychoanalyst Alice Miller has said, "guilt implies a power and freedom we didn't have at the time." It's as if we prefer the pain of blaming ourselves rather than accept the fact that no amount of debilitating guilt can undo what was done. Rather than continuing to suffer, we can resolve to do things differently in the future.

Picturing or looking at a photo of the person with whom you are upset, say, "I know in my heart, you would have done differently if youcould have done differently but at that time you couldn't so you didn't."

May You Have True Happiness & Peace in the New Year,
Stephen
Stephen Royal Jackson, Ph.D.

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