More on 1995 Meditation

The following is in response to requests for more details about the meditation that set the stage for my life-changing experience than I presented in Monday's posting.

After passing through seven gates, I saw before me a large white, classical-style temple with a gold dome and a large thick gold door. When I opened the thick (it appeared to be a foot wide in thickness) gold door, I saw Jesus standing before me in a white robe. Instantly, I dropped to one knee and bowed my head as a knight does before his king. I felt as though I were a knight who had just found the Holy Grail.

I was so surprised to suddenly find myself overcome by a deep and abiding love for Jesus. Tears filled my eyes. No words were spoken. Communication took place telepathically. My thoughts burst forth from the wellspring of love I felt as I silently declared to Jesus, "I’ve served you as a soldier." My mind flashed on an image of ancient Rome. I saw a man in my mind’s eye with whom my heart felt a deep kinship. Somehow the man seemed to be me in a different body. The man was wearing a metal helmet with a tightly-cropped red plume that was more brush-like than feathered. He also wore a form-fitting breastplate; it resembled the armor I had seen in movies about Roman times. The men under my command as this Roman soldier had followed my lead and become followers of Jesus the Christ.

I continued the telepathic communication by silently saying to Jesus, "I’ve served you as a healer of emotional problems. (I was referring to my current work as a psychologist). And now, presumably, I can serve you as a healer of physical problems.”

What was this? I was surprised. I had not thought of organizing my life around serving Jesus except on a few occasions. The first time was when I was in my early adolescence. It lasted for a few months before, during, and after receiving the sacrament of confirmation in the Episcopal Church at thirteen years old. Another time occurred when I was serving in the National Guard after I had returned home from basic training in the regular U.S. Army. Yet here I was spontaneously communicating these thoughts to Jesus from the depths of my heart and soul. Uncensored. Pure. Unqualified. No if’s, and’s or but’s, as my mother would say.

I may not have had the clear thought that I was serving Christ in my life as a psychologist; however, I loved my patients no matter how obnoxious the patterns of thinking and acting that brought them to therapy. I truly loved them unconditionally. In this sense, I practiced the commandment of love which Jesus gave us.

For example, Karen, one of my adult patients once said to me, chuckling as she spoke, “Dr. J., I could come in here and tell you I killed someone this week, and you would say, ‘That’s understandable, you were very upset.’” As ludicrous as this comment sounds, it reflected her feelings. She knew I would not condemn her, but be understanding and validating of her feelings. She felt accepted by me no matter what.

My graduate-school-trained mind was questioning why I was seeing Jesus since Reiki was originally Tibetan and later Japanese. I was puzzled. I thought, “Am I making this up? Why am I not seeing an Asian teacher? I was raised Episcopalian. Was that why I saw Jesus?” No. It was much more than that; I felt a deep love for and complete devotion to Jesus.

I felt as if I really did know and love Him in the flesh during Roman times as deeply as one knows and loves the members of one’s family. And it was a love and gratitude mixed with the devotion one feels for an admired and revered teacher whom one has gotten to know personally. Intermingled with these feelings was the loyalty as well as the readiness and willingness to die that a knight feels for his king.

It was with this feeling of deep, reverential love that I sipped the red wine from the Holy Communion Cup when He leaned forward and held out the Chalice for me to drink. The moment I swallowed the wine, the scene shifted and I was by a river. This was the first of three gifts I was to receive. In the next postings, I'll go into the significance of the next two spiritual teachers to appear in my meditation: the Tibetan monk Tacomi and Shiva as a goddess.

• Today, consider sharing any spiritual experiences you've had, no matter how unconventional or unusual. For we are entering an era where we are called to go beyond divisive dogma and doctrine to see where the daily dialogue with the Divine leads us.