Relieving the Stress of the Unforgiving Mind

[Note: The same preface precedes all the blogs on my vision quest and the ones on giving up grievances. It provides the personal context regarding the relationship of each piece to my quest to restore my eyesight since I've exhausted all that Western medicine can do to repair the damage done by my advanced case of glaucoma. Therefore, if you've read it before, you may want to refresh your memory or skip to the new excerpt from A Course in Miracles below.]

My Vision Quest
On New Year's Day 2011, I began the 365-day journey through the dailly lessons in the workbook section of A Course in Miracles. Given all the amazing synchronicities (meaningful coincidences) I've had since completing The Space Between Stars, I am certain that the course holds the key to restoring my impaired vision, which currently fits the definition of being legally blind both in terms of severely restricted visual angles and visual acuity. The last line before the epilogue of the The Space Between Stars(see www.drsrj.com) ends with the words of the man born blind who is healed by Jesus, ". . . I was blind but now I see." This is the title of the book I am currently writing. The subtitle is: "A Miracle of Restored Vision Redefines Reality." The book chronicles my quest for rstoring my vision that began with events leading up to my first and second trips to see the healer/medium John of God in Abadiania, Brazil. What I been led to considier is quite remarkable. I have always seen the healing of my vision as a twofold process. First, I have done what medical science can do for glaucoma, namely, the reduction of the elevated intraocular pressures which have damaged the optic nerves in both of my eyes. Until encountering the redefining of reality in A Course in Miracles, The Disappearance of the Universe, a spin off of the course,, as well as on my trips to Brazil, I have always seen the second phase for healing my vision as regenerating my optic nerves. I have used the following metaphor to describe the damage: If a healthy optic nerve could be seen as a tree in summer with all its green leaves, my optic nerves are like a tree in late November with a few brown leaves left on their branches.

John of God speaks Brazilian Portuguese. So before going before him, you have to tell a translator 3 things you would like to have healed. Your requests are written on a small piece of paper which is read to John of God. I asked my guide if I should ask for the regeneration of my optic nerves. He instructed me not to ask for that but for restored vision. He recommended this because a woman who had "severed optic nerves" had her vision restored, and when doctors examined her optic nerve, they expected to see her nerve reconnected. But, to their astonishment, it was still severed.

Later, as the plane took off from Brasilia, my friend Rod was reading a book containing case studies of individuals healed by John of 'God. With a trace of excitement in his voice, he read aloud to me the case of another woman with completely "nonfunctional optic nerves." Her vision was restored, and guess what?

When doctors examined her, her optic nerves were still nonfunctional. Both of these individuals had several trips to Brazil to see John of God before their sight returned. This got my attention. A Course in Miracles and The Disappearance of the Universe, as well as some sacred spiritual traditions claim vision involves more than the "body's eyes." It is in this spirit that I offer one of the daily lesson from the workbook section of A Course in Miracles for your consideration and for your spiritual growth and "restored vision" back to what it was before you emerged from the womb.

[Note: The words in brackets as well as the female-gender based words are my additions.]


Excerpts from Lesson 121 Forgiveness is the key to happiness

Here is the answer to your search for peace. Here is the key to meaning in a world that seems to make no sense. Here is the way to safety and apparent dangers that appear to threaten you at every turn and bring uncertainty to all your hopes of ever finding peace. Here are all questions answered. Here the end of all uncertainty insured at last.

The unforgiving mind is full of fear and offers love no room to be itself, no place where it can spread its wings in peace and soar above the turmoil of the world. The unforgiving mind is said without the hope of respite and release from pain. It [the unforgiving mind] abides in misery, peering about in darkness, SEEING NOT, yet certain of the danger lurking there.

The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees, afraid and angry, weak and blustery, afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound yet more afraid of stillness, terrified of darkness yet more terrified at the approach of light.

What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its own damnation? . . . It [the unforgiving mind] looks upon the world with sightless eyes and shrieks as it beholds its own projections rising to attack its miserable parody of life. It wants to live. It wishes it were dead. It wants forgiveness yet it sees no hope. It wants escape but can conceive of none because it sees the sinful everywhere, The unforgiving mind is in despair without the prospect of a future which can offer anything but more despair. Yet it regards its judgment of the world as irreversible and does not see that it condemned itself to this despair, It thinks it cannot change for what it sees bears witness that its judgment is correct. It does not ask because it thinks it knows. It does not question, certain it is right. . . .

Each unforgiving mind presents you with an opportunity to teach your own how to forgive itself. Each one [unforgiving mind] awaits release from hell through you and turns to you imploringly for heaven here and now. It [Unforgiving mind] has no hope but you become its hope. And as its hope, you do become your own [hope]. The unforgiving mind must learn through your forgiveness that it has been saved from hell. And as you teach salvation you will learn. Yet all your teaching and your learning will be not of you but of the Teacher [within] Who was given you to show the way to you.

• Today we practice learning to forgive. Today, if you are willing, you can take the key to happiness and use it on your own behalf. We will devote ten minutes in the morning and at night another ten to learning how to give forgiveness and receive foreignness, too. The unforgiving mind does not believe that giving and receiving are the same. Yet, we will try to learn today that they are one through practicing forgiveness toward one you think of as an enemy and one whom you consider as a friend. And, as you learn to see them both as one, we will extend the lesson and see that their escape included yours. Begin the longer practice periods by thinking of someone you do not like, who seems to irritate you or to cause regret in you if you should meet him, one you actively despise or merely try to overlook. It does not matter what the form your anger takes. You probably have chosen him already. He will do. Now close your eyes and see him in your mind and look at him a while. Try to perceive some light in him somewhere, a little gleam which you had never noticed. Try to find some little spark of brightens shining through the ugly picture that you hold of him. Look at this picture until you see a light somewhere within it, and then try to let this light extend until it covers him and makes the picture beautiful and good. Look at this changed perception for a while and turn your mind toward one you call a friend. Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former enemy to him. Perceive him now as more than friend to you. For i that light his holiness shows your savior, saved and saving, hdared and whole. Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your enemy and friend unite in blessing you with what you gave. Now are you one with them and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself. Do no forget throughout the day the role forgiveness plays in bringing happiness to every unforgiving mind with yours among them. Every hour tell yourself, "Forgiveness is the key to happiness. I will awaken from the dream that I am mortal, fallible and full of sin and know that I AM a perfect son [daughter]] of God."