Unhooking Yourself from the Flashy Lures of Life

Common Irritations You Can Use for Your Liberation

There are innumerable variations of the things that hook us. Some are indirect attacks and others are direct attacks on our shining self-image. Below are some common hooks that lead you to get stuck staring at the image in the pool. To be free, we must give up the need to impress others with a shining self-image.

• Someone says or does something that you disagree with and
think is wrong hooking your need to be right.

• Someone makes a mistake hooking your need to correct
others and impress them with how much you know.

• Someone says or does something you think is stupid or wrong hooking your need to criticize others.

• Someone is late hooking your tendency to get impatient.

• People are talking in a group hooking your need to brag.

• Feeling unimportant, a nobody, starts hooking a desire to be
famous as if having your name known makes you important.

• Feeling poor and not feeling respected by others hooking
a desire to be wealthy so that you will be respected.

• Your loved one is not behaving as you think he or she should
hooking a need to control them so they’ll do it your way.

• Your loved one is talking to an attractive person hooking
feelings of jealousy, anger, insecurity, and possessiveness.

• Being criticized hooking an urge toward fight-or-flight.

• Being outdone by someone else hooking an urge to compete.

• Being laughed at or made fun of when you do something
hooking a desire for revenge.

• Being rejected for a job or date hooking a self-critical urge.

• Being told directly or indirectly you are wrong hooking an
urge to yell and tell the person off!

How can we use these common irritations—hooks—to achieve our liberation? The clue is in the word question; it has the word quest in it. When we question, we initiate the inner quest for our freedom. If we don’t question, we live like a fish at the mercy of all those fishermen. We stop getting hooked when we stop taking the bait, and start seeing the hooks hidden in the flashy lures of life.
Try questioning your automatic reactions with acceptance, compassion, and empathy. At the same time, you must be sure to refrain from any outer actions. You are engaging in an inner quest to find your freedom and not an outer quest for approval. Below are some common hooks that we get free of by questioning them.

• Someone is wrong. Do I really need to point this out? Or am
I trying to impress others? Do I really need to impress them?

• Someone is making us wait. Do I really need to say anything?

• Someone mispronounces a word. Do I really need to correct
him? Is it really necessary? Or am I just showing off?

• You feel inferior since you can’t afford expensive things that
others can: car, clothes, and so on. You think, “If I had moremoney then people would respect me!” Would they respect me or the money? Wouldn’t I do better to confront the issue of how I deserve to be treated with respect just because of who I am as a person and not because of what I have?


There is a difference in having wealth and fame without being attached or hooked by them. The difference is in being able to remain loving and spiritual while having fame and wealth. It is realizing they do not grant happiness and peace. Surely, it is easier to be spiritual in a sanctuary far from the narcissistic temptations that confront us daily. Of course, we must beware of spiritual narcissism. Imagine two people sipping green tea and discussing spirituality. Both are smiling and smugly thinking, “I’m more spiritually advanced than you! I’m at a higher level!”

• Today, practice unhooking yourself by engaging in the inner quest with a question when youfeel hooked.