Yur Thoughts Mark Your Soul Rabbi Ben cont'd.

Ben first talked about the Mussar. “The goal of the spiritual practice of the Mussar is to live an ethical life. This involves more than actions in the outer world. It includes our thoughts and our speech. Not only is it what we say to others, it’s also what we silently say to ourselves.”

“So it involves our inner life as well,” I said. “Reminds me of the training I received at the Institute of Living. As a psychiatric hospital, it was considered one of the last bastions of long-term in-depth psychotherapy. In my training there, I learned that to do analysis or therapy, we need to monitor our own thoughts, fantasies, and feelings as they arise in reaction to what the patient says and does in the session.”
“Yes, your analytic discipline is similar to the Mussar and to the Kabbalah,” he said. “The difference is that the purpose of spiritual discipline is to develop the soul by connecting with the Light of the Creator.”

Ben paused and then said, “What I am about to say is very important so listen very carefully. What we say or do leaves its mark on our soul. That includes what we say silently about others as well as what we say out loud to others. And it also includes what we say and do to ourselves. Self-condemning or self-indulging words and actions affect our very soul as well.”

“So you might say,” I began slowly, carefully choosing my words, “our soul is like a garden where we plant soul seeds.”
“That’s good,” he said. “Please go on.”

“So when we think, speak, and act in ethical, that is, in loving and kind ways then beautiful flowers bloom. And when we act harmfully and unethically in harsh, unkind ways, we allow the garden of our soul to become overgrown with weeds. The weeds choke off the flowers.” I surprised myself with the idea of seeing the soul as a garden.

“Excellent,” Ben said. “Where did you come up with that?”
“It just came to me as you spoke about the Kabbalah,” I said. “Now thinking out loud, I suppose it springs from my experience in working with people in therapy.”
“How so?” he asked.

“Often at the beginning of my work with a patient, the state of a patient’s soul is depicted in dream images. I can recall patients who presented dreams of a vacant lot overgrown with weeds situated in a rundown area of a city. I also remember dreams set in a barren wasteland with no growth. No vegetation. Nothing.”
“Interesting,” he said. “Please continue.”

“In some cases, by the time therapy was completed, I can remember the dream images of lush gardens, green forests or vast fields of colorful wild flowers. I suppose you could say the soul of the patients with these dream images had grown, couldn’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Ben affirmed. “Everything we say and do affects our very soul. The Mussar and Kabbalah tell us that scratches or marks are made on the soul by what we say and do.”

Ben then spelled out the practices a little more specifically. “First, you are to learn to become more aware of what you are thinking, feeling, saying and doing. The Mussar recommends that you list the soul-traits you want to work on developing. They suggest such soul-traits as: honest speech, humility, trust in God, compassion, loving-kindness, dignity, courage, surrender of the ego, fear (or in today’s language, awe) of God, moderation, concentration, passion or zeal, and equanimity. He conveyed this information with a grave solemnity in his voice: this was a very serious practice.

Ben continued: “You do this by keeping a journal of your inner and outer life each day. At the end of the day, you review how you did in living up to the soul-traits you are working on.”

• Today, every so often, monitor your motivation. Check in to see where you are coming from when you say something. Ask yourself, "o I really need to say that? Does it really add anything to the conversation? Am I trying to impress? Am I putting down someone to elevate myself? Remember, the words of the Indian saint, Swami Rama, "Only one who remains unaffected by honor or insult, can keep the divine flame alive."